Recently, life has been a struggle. I have slowly been falling behind on homework, I feel like life is going way too fast, and my discipline in my faith has disappeared pretty much completely. It all started falling apart a couple weeks ago when I got sick. I got behind and then couldn’t keep my footing long enough to stay standing above water. Recently though, God reached out His hand and has given me some new hope for the future, the upcoming future anyways.
I usually arrive at mass early as I come from church choir rehearsal. I decided while I waited for mass to go back through my mass journal. This is where I write a little summary of every reading for every mass I go to, what I learn from that mass, and bible verse that I like. In the past, some of the readings were my inspiration for this blog. That then reminded me about previous blog posts I have written. I decided to go back and peruse my old posts.
The one that hit me the most was Achieving the Impossible. (If you haven’t read it yet, you should.) It’s how the virtue of hope can help us fight against sloth, which is what is causing my struggles now. Reading this reminded me of how I got through the first few weeks of classes without any problems. I had had hope and faith that everything would get done. I also made sure to make time for God even if there really wasn’t any time for it because I knew I couldn’t do life on my own.
After rediscovering this, I then went to mass where we sang the song Unless a Grain of Wheat. This song for me means that to become something amazing, we have to die to ourselves. This means to put aside our own selfish wants and place God before ourselves. If it’s meant to happen, it’ll happen just not always in on our time schedule. So I’m now refocusing myself and making sure to give some time to God because the only way I’m going to get off this struggle bus is if a miracle happens.