What You Want

Recently I’ve had a lot of stuff going on. These events have been hard and have left me reeling with many emotions. These emotions come in waves. Sometimes they are resting in the back of my mind. Other times these emotion are overwhelming. I get to the point sometimes where I can’t breathe and I start looking for ways out. The can start me down paths I’d rather not be on.

When people don’t like where they are or who they are, they start wanting something else. In other words, they start lusting for something else. Often times this involves wanting something we don’t have: someone else’s life, someone else’s things. What makes lusting a sin, aside from it being against the ten commandments, is the fact that we didn’t do the work for what we want.

A friend of mine is close with certain people that I’m not close with. This would often mean that she was going to parties and people’s houses while I was sitting in our dorm room alone. The difference between the two of us was the work and effort we put into making relationships with these people. My friend talked to these other people, hung out at the same places as them, and made them a priority in her life. I instead stayed in our dorm room usually by myself either doing homework or watching Netflix. I started getting jealous of my friend for her social life and wanting what she had. Then I had another friend point out to me that I didn’t do the same things as her. I didn’t put forth the effort to become friends with the people she was friends with, so how could I expect that they would just become friends with me.

In this situation, I realized that I was lusting after something that I didn’t even really want. I then took a look at my life, realized what I did want, and worked for it. So next time you are jealous of someone else, think about if you really want what they have. Then make a plan for how to get what you want. Sometimes what we’re jealous of, isn’t even what we really want

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